A First Kiss
by the-yaks-apprentice
Summary: Remus is hoplessly in love with Lily, but James also loves her. And, annoyingly, Lily seems more than content just to flirt with James. Will Remus have the courage to tell her how he feels?


**Disclaimer: All the characters in this fanfiction belong to JK Rowling. I do not own any of the story below. **

"Hey Remus. Mind if I sit with you, if you're not busy?"

I looked up from my book. To be honest, I wasn't actually reading, the combination of hot sun and a full moon the night before had left me too tired to do anything but doze. Luckily, I had managed to wriggle out of the rather boisterous water fight that James, Sirius and Peter were currently in the middle of and was content just to lie under the tree overlooking the lake.

"Course you can, Lily. Actually, only if you agree to go through the transfiguration paper with me."

She giggled as she elegantly stretched out beside me.

"Didn't we do that last week? I've enough punishment of that sort from you. Plus, the last exam was four days ago. I've already managed to forget about it. Don't you dare bring back any bad memories."

Laughing in return, I lifted my head to study her. She was lying on her stomach; head propped up on her hands. Her long hair fell in dark red waves and the contrast between that and her pale skin was startling. But amazing. Enthralling. Magical. I savoured the word in my brain. _Magical_. The perfect word for her.

I wondered what would happen if I just leant forward, brushed her hair behind her ear, caressed her cheek. What would happen if I dared to kiss her? Would she kiss back? _No, of course not_, a little voice in my head chided. _She would just push you away, in a way that was perfectly sweet and perfectly kind, and perfectly…Lily_.

And then James would kill me.

"Do those guys always act as if they are five?" Her voice shook me out of my thoughts.

"Who?" Following her gaze I saw she was looking at James and Sirius, who were waist deep in the lake, attempting to push each other over while Peter shouted encouragement at them.

"Sirius and that lot." Although her voice was casual, I knew that this question was important to her.

"Not _all_ the time. Just the majority."

She laughed, running a hand through her hair. I watched her, noticing how her gaze seemed to settle on James, how she bit her lip whenever Sirius managed to knock him over, how she gave a half chuckle and shook her head whenever he did something stupid to show off. I felt something stir in my stomach, rising up my chest. At that moment I hated him, hated his messy hair, hated his cocky grin, hated the fact that Lily was content just to watch him.

"Will he ever grow up?" Her voice was wistful, unaware of the fact that that she had said 'he' instead of 'they'.

I gave a sigh and forced the monster back down. "He's more mature than he appears. Haven't you ever let yourself go wild, let yourself act like a kid again? The people that do that without wondering what people think of them are often more mature than people who constantly try to act grown up. He's like that. And he has more fun."

She looked at me, brow furrowed. "He?"

"James."

She blushed and looked down, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"He does like you, I swear."

"But what if…" Her sentence trailed away.

"But what if nothing. How will you ever know what could happen if you don't take a chance?"

My stomach gave a funny kick in my chest as she twisted into a sitting position, so her face was only inches from mine.

She smiled. "How can you be so kind and sweet and trustworthy and give such great advice, yet not have a girlfriend?"

I looked down. "Maybe because I don't take my own advice."

She lifted my chin, so she was staring into my eyes. "Honestly, Remus, most girls at this school would be crazy to turn you down. Just take a chance. If it's meant to be it'll pay off. And if not, you deserve someone better anyway."

I paused. _Should I tell her?_ My brain worked furiously trying to decide how to word how I felt about her. I wasn't even sure if I should say anything. I was sure she liked James. James would kill me. I was a werewolf. I couldn't let anyone getting close to me and then cast me away when they found out about my 'furry little problem'. I couldn't let anyone near me in case they got hurt. But Lily was staring at me, concern etched into her face, biting her lip with worry. Just looking into her eyes I knew I had to take a chance, had to tell her how I felt. I knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do this, couldn't spend my whole life wondering "What if..."

I looked down, away from her face. "Lily…" I began. And then James' voice.

"Oi, Evans!"

"I have a name, Potter," Lily's voice was teasing and there was a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Well bring you and your name down here and help me in drowning Sirius."

"That's drowning? Pathetic as you are Potter, I thought even you would have been able to drown someone better than that." I was forgotten, the concern that had previously been so evident in her face had vanished the second she and James had began the flirting match.

"Then come down and show me how to do it properly." James flashed his usual cocky grin.

Beside me Lily laughed and shook her head affectionately.

"Are you sure you don't mind me going down there?" She asked.

"Of course not," I lowered my voice. "Go get him." Every word felt like a knife stabbing my heart.

She giggled then impulsively leant over and hugged me hard.

"Thank you." She whispered in my ear, then slowly moved her head back and pressed her lips to my cheek. My face burned scarlet, the place where her lips had touched me tingled. As she pulled away a shiver ran down my spine.

"Thanks." She said again, before running down the slope to join James in the lake.

I leant back against the tree. My first kiss. I shook my head, trying to clear it, as I watched James lift her up and throw her into water. Watched her come up laughing, shaking wet hair out of her eyes.

A first kiss. Pity James would get the rest.

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to watch anymore. Just wanted to remember how it felt, her pressed against me, her breath on my neck, her lips on my cheek. She didn't love me. So why did I have to love her?

**Please review- any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.**


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